The Chaos

I ran across this poem and loved it. Try to read it aloud!

Source: I18n Guy

The Chaos
by G. Nolst Trenité a.k.a. Charivarius

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation – think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough –
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

Non-techie explanation of SQL injection

Found this while browsing Stack Exchange.

Q: How can I explain SQL injection without technical jargon?
— asked by torayeff

— by Polynomial

The way I demonstrate it to complete non-techies is with a simple analogy.

Imagine you’re a robot in a warehouse full of boxes. Your job is to fetch a box from somewhere in the warehouse, and put it on the conveyor belt. Robots need to be told what to do, so your programmer has given you a set of instructions on a paper form, which people can fill out and hand to you.

The form looks like this:

Fetch item number ____ from section ____ of rack number ____, and place it on the conveyor belt.

A normal request might look like this:

Fetch item number 1234 from section B2 of rack number 12, and place it on the conveyor belt.

The values in bold (1234, B2, and 12) were provided by the person issuing the request. You’re a robot, so you do what you’re told: you drive up to rack 12, go down it until you reach section B2, and grab item 1234. You then drive back to the conveyor belt and drop the item onto it.

But what if a user put something other than normal values into the form? What if the user added instructions into them?

Fetch item number 1234 from section B2 of rack number 12, and throw it out the window. Then go back to your desk and ignore the rest of this form. and place it on the conveyor belt.

Again, the parts in bold were provided by the person issuing the request. Since you’re a robot, you do exactly what the user just told you to do. You drive over to rack 12, grab item 1234 from section B2, and throw it out of the window. Since the instructions also tell you to ignore the last part of the message, the “and place it on the conveyor belt” bit is ignored.

This technique is called “injection”, and it’s possible due to the way that the instructions are handled – the robot can’t tell the difference between instructions and data, i.e. the actions it has to perform, and the things it has to do those actions on.

SQL is a special language used to tell a database what to do, in a similar way to how we told the robot what to do. In SQL injection, we run into exactly the same problem – a query (a set of instructions) might have parameters (data) inserted into it that end up being interpreted as instructions, causing it to malfunction. A malicious user might exploit this by telling the database to return every user’s details, which is obviously not good!

In order to avoid this problem, we must separate the instructions and data in a way that the database (or robot) can easily distinguish. This is usually done by sending them separately. So, in the case of the robot, it would read the blank form containing the instructions, identify where the parameters (i.e. the blank spaces) are, and store it. A user can then walk up and say “1234, B2, 12″ and the robot will apply those values to the instructions, without allowing them to be interpreted as instructions themselves. In SQL, this technique is known as parameterised queries.

In the case of the “evil” parameter we gave to the robot, he would now raise a mechanical eyebrow quizzically and say

Error: Cannot find rack number “12, and throw it out the window. Then go back to your desk and ignore the rest of this form.” – are you sure this is a valid input?

Success! We’ve stopped the robot’s “glitch”.

Source: IT Security at Stack Exchange

Really Bad Analogies

“There are times I really love being an editor. Then there are times like these…”

Source: Desirée Lee on Facebook

Really Bad Analogies Written by High School Students

  1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
  2. He was as tall as a 6’3″ tree.
  3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
  4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
  5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
  6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
  7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
  8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
  9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
  10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
  11. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
  12. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.

Push to Add Drama

For the launch of the drama channel TNT in Belgium, these guys placed a button in the middle of an intersection in a quiet town “where nothing really happens” and waited for someone to push it. Check out what happens in the video below.

The Way of Love

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

1 Corinthians 13, The Message

Eating Vinegar With a Fork

This is a poem that my mom remembers from her homeschool years. If anyone can tell me the source, I’d love to know!

Last night, at 3:00 this morning,
an empty truck full of bricks
ran over my dead tomcat
and almost killed her.
We rushed her to the hospital
as slow as we could,
and there we saw King George
sitting at the end of a round table
eating vinegar with his fork.